Because I Can

Unless you are new to this blog, you have already learned that I love plants. Both of my thumbs (and probably my big toes) are green, and I have living, green things throughout my apartment. I often find clearanced out plants at Lowe’s – and occasionally Walmart – that are nearly dead, buy them super cheap, clean them up, and then love them back to life. I have done this so many times that my mom has taken to calling me the “Plant Doctor.” I laugh when she does, but she’s not really wrong. Between research and experimenting, I have successfully brought back many plants over the years.

This passion of mine is a lot of fun, but it holds deeper meaning for me as well. My life has been full of ups and downs, and sometimes I feel I can relate to some of these plants.

I can’t tell you how many times my life has taken an unexpected turn. I can’t tell you how many times I have found my hope nearly destroyed by events and experiences I’ve lived through. But every single time, God has picked me up, cleaned me off, and transplanted me so I have room to grow. It’s a painful experience, but each time it’s been worth the tears and struggle.

And so yes, I can relate. But even that is not the primary focus of what I want to write about today.

Before I left my abusive marriage, I struggled with ridiculous anxiety. I don’t mean that I felt nervous or a little stressed. I mean I had increasingly regular panic attacks, the unknown terrified me, I struggled with trusting anyone, and functioning like a “normal” adult was a challenge. Many days it was a challenge I couldn’t rise to. Thankfully, God brought me out, and within six months, I went from almost crippling anxiety to almost none at all.

This is what I want to talk about. Not the anxiety itself – it’s all over the news and social media these days, you don’t need me to tell you what it looks like – but one basic step to help yourself deal with it until it passes. I’m not going to tell you to pray about it, because hopefully you already are. I am going to give you this one thing you can do to keep fighting for your mind – maybe even your life.

So what is this one thing? That’s up to you.

Oh geez, Misty, that’s helpful.

No, it really is. You find one thing that you can do. I don’t care if it’s as simple as turning on a light, opening the blinds or a window, or reading five words on a page. Find that one thing that you can commit to yourself that you will do each day. When you are ready, feel free to add another, but for now, be content with one.

Even if you don’t struggle with severe anxiety, this can be applied to your life as well. Currently, I find myself with too many goals and too little time. I was alone this weekend and apart from working out with some new friends first thing in the morning, I had all day to myself yesterday. I had so many projects I wanted to get done, but I knew that I couldn’t do them all. I could have allowed my feelings of being overwhelmed convince me to take a nap and not do any of it, but instead, I chose one thing I could do. I transplanted, pruned, and watered all of my plants. I threw away what was dead (the dead stuff can drain the life out of what’s living), and rearranged what was left so that each plant was getting the light it needs. Some of my plants were new – I found a few plants on clearance at Lowe’s the night before (a couple of them were as low as fifty cents!) – and they needed the most work.

When I was done, I had a big mess in my kitchen. There were dead leaves and dirt all over my floor! I needed a break, so I took one. And then I felt exhausted because I hadn’t slept much at all the night before, got up early to do an intense workout, and then worked for a few hours on my plants. So I took a nap. Yes, I left the dirt on my floor. I was the only one home, and I needed to rest.

But don’t worry, I swept my floor and mopped it a few hours later.

It’s about finding what you can do, doing it, and taking breaks when you need to, and telling the guilt to go jump off a cliff.

In the past, I have pushed through and completed a lot of things all at once. But then I felt so exhausted the next few days that it killed my motivation to do anything else. Finding that balance is what is important.

And so sometimes, I work on plants because I can.